


Sburb: Recursion

by hermeticAcademic



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:40:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23668519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hermeticAcademic/pseuds/hermeticAcademic
Summary: 4:13 happened 2 days ago and I recalled that I had a lot of fic built up. Now that I'm Stuck at Home because of Covid. I decided  other people should see this. This project was my attempt to imitate  the Hussian style. So enter 4 new kids who embark on a new sburb session. They're  repressed! And so a merry adventure  ensues.At a time when I'm  not in quarantine  I will go back and try some html for colored text and so on.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

You pull back a dusty curtain on a monitor that has seen the test of time. Cracking what would likely be knuckles if you were a human being. You run your digits over the keyboard. Let’s go around again shall we? Maybe this time something will come of it You turn on the main screen. The whole thing hums to life in an orchestra of whirring and clicking. The monitor sparks to life a line in black text appears at the bottom of the screen. “Acquiring Player 1 Signature.” A reticle tracks across a blob of light. Zooming in on it to find a galaxy then a cluster, then a lonely star surrounded by a collection of planets. It tracks to a small blue planet and zooms in on a residence somewhere warm and dry. A young man stands in what would appear to be his room. The reticle hovers over him. 

“Player 1 detected.”

Now we have to give him a name. The prompt commands it. Here goes. You input the first line. One of many to be sure.

User: Input Name  
Input: Daniel Whaldorf  
Input Status: Accepted. Welcome Sburb Player 1

==== > Be Dan.

Your name is Daniel Whaldorf. Except all of your friends call you Dan. You’re fairly popular in school Though you don’t really know why exactly. It’s likely because your Mom makes toys and games. You actually really just like to keep to yourself as much as that is allowed. Your interests are many. You like to write, and read Eldritch Literature. You’re interested in ancient libraries. You are also good at tennis as your social life demands. You love Dark and Gritty movies with macabre twists. You also really like Lizards hence why you keep one in your room. His name is Marv and you adopted him as your son. You also really enjoy playing games with your closest friends. Which as it happens. Today is the Day!

==== > What day is it?

It’s the day that the game you have been waiting for over a year to play is finally releasing. You went and got a four pack for your best friends to play. It together. The launch was just this morning so the game will hopefully be arriving soon. You think you heard the mail truck leaving a few minutes ago. Though you were only deterred by the sounds coming from down stairs. Mom is having another of her social gatherings hence why you’re up in your room again. Whaldorf Company had a special hand in the creation of Sburb so naturally she had several of her many friends over to celebrate. This is great for her, but not so much for you as you will have to deal with a bunch of her coworkers who always want to talk to her favorite Only Son. She had seen to it that copies of the game remained available for you and your three Closest Friends. 

===== > Examine room

Your room looks extraordinarily small. Purely because of the sheer amount of books and oddments you have stuffed into it.They rest there as testaments to your interests. Your desk is covered by Arcane Scribblings. Most of of them poetry that will never be seen by mortal man. It was so deeply eldritch and unspeakable that their heads would probably explode. That is what you thought of it anyway. You find one that is particularly ridiculous and exposing. This cannot be abided. You throw the offending poem into the trash where it would remain until you remembered to empty it.

==== >

You examine your bookshelf. You love horrific speculative fiction. Depictions of things and acts that Man Was Not Meant To Know. You naturally have a middling interest in the mythology of H.V. Dovecraft, his horrific monsters like Fluthulu and his ilk. Though admittedly some of it is too far gone from reality for you to get into. Though your favorite are the kind that fly close to the real world. The Bresden Cases have been your favorite series for years. The dark secrets, the angst. You loved it all. Plus you thought Gerry Bresden was kind of cute. Though that was Not Important. Your Mother had been getting them for you for years. In addition to these eldritch texts there a few players handbooks for a couple role playing games. That was how you had first met your odd collection of friends that you talk to regularly. Your characters tended to be somewhat mysterious and magical. Though since you were the one playing them they also ended up being huge dorks because you kept slipping up or rolling badly. With your characters around things never failed to be interesting or calamitous.

==== > Dan: Venture downstairs to retrieve the game

You don’t want to retrieve that game just yet. Your mother was still busy entertaining guests and going downstairs would involve all of her friends asking you how you were doing and worrying about you which just makes you sick to your stomach. You instead steel yourself. You gather a few of your most dear possessions. You pick up your Slightly Abridged Works of H.V Dovecraft, your first edition copy of the Bresden Files Volume 1: The Ailment of Mr. Pembrooke and lastly your copy of The Dark Arts and You. A young man should never feel out of place so long as he has some light reading with him. Your sylladex pops open. Goldenrod cards appear out of nothingness. You tag the books as. Tomes, Dark, Horror and they file themselves away into your sylladex. That way you can always find them. Granted not without engaging in searching your mess of tag combinations for the right item in question. If you hit just one of them all of the items under that tag are just launched out. A terrible design flaw really.

==== > Dan: Quit stalling venture downstairs

You are hesitant, but also there is the unending siren call of your old flame. Videogames. Cthonic fiend that they may be. You are under their spell and must endure the most heinous of obstacles. People. You venture downstairs into your brightly lit living room. Past a wall of pictures of you. You’ve always secretly hated that, since you always felt you were being studied heavily by your past selves.And yet your mother had you sit down each year and the picture was taken. You hear the chatter of…gulp. Family Friends coming from down below. Along with the subtle tones of jazz music in the background. You never liked having parties at your house just because of the sheer amount of attention it garnered toward you. There is another door down the hall, as well as the door to the bathroom

==== > Investigate mysterious door

You cannot investigate that mysterious door because that is the door to your mother’s private bedroom. Where she sleeps. Just the mere thought of violating that privacy shocks and appalls you so much that the thought perishes. Also that door is always locked. Obviously. Not really a mystery there. Though you’ve wondered what might be held there.

==== > Dan: Activate Sneak Mode

You activate: Sneak Mode. And move as quietly as possible through the party. Creeping with your back against the wall so as to not bump against any of the Guests. The chatter is loud perhaps you can make it through undetected. Alas! An errant footfall makes a floorboard creak just loud enough that the guests turn. “Hi! I was wondering when you were going to make an appearance. There is no recourse now. It’s time for Conversation. The horror.

==== > Strife!

A health bar fills up below you on an abstract mechanism that you actually shouldn’t be able to see. You reach for a weapon but a red x appears over your attack options! “Error: No Strife Specibus Detected” Foiled again by an abstract concept that is heretofore baffling to modern science. A green arrow points to an option called “Aggress” a pop up appears with “Passive Aggress”. “Painful Sincerity“ activates. “Yes I’m really happy for Mom and her launch. Yeah I guess I have grown a lot. I’m actually just going to go get a snack. I’m about to play the game actually. Yep.” You slip out of the conversation and Abscond.

==== > Dan: Good. Go get the mail.

You head into the kitchen. You are about to head outside to the mailbox when you spy it. Amidst a stack of cards and newsletters. A Vaguely Disc Shaped Package. You go to pick it up with your human hands but. Another popup appears. A violet box schloops the item into the Captchalogue of your Tag Sylladex. Automatically sorting it by its key features. Marking it Round, Computer, and Game before filing it into your library. You almost forget that you have this thing sometimes because of how easy it is to use. Or something like that you don’t mind that it’s super buggy. Your quest completed, you make your way upstairs with a sense of urgency. The party seems to be congregating towards the door. Mom is taking her friends Out for much of the afternoon so you will have time to play the game alone, without the noise of Guests under you. You open the door to your room again. Making sure to close it behind you. Your laptop screen is still on. And a little yellow rectangle is on your monitor. It blinks with an unread message.

==== > Dan: Answer that message it must be urgent

You open up the message on your Pesterchum Client. It’s from alchemicalPedigree. Your friend Gin had been messaging you furiously. For the past Several Minutes. Time to humor her.

alchemicallPedigree has begun pestering monstrousSpecatacle at 1:22 Pm

AP: Hey loser. My dude. My guy.  
AP: I got the copy of the game that you ordered.  
AP: Well its coming. I’ve got to clean for most of today anyhow.  
AP: Youre not responding. Ill just hassle you in a bit.

alchemicallPedigree stopped pestering monstrousSpecatacle at 1:29 PM

Well now you had to reply. Internet custom demanded it. But you might as well start installing this game. It could take a while anyhow. You pop the disc into your CD drive. It has an image of a house on it broken up into several chunks. I little dialogue pops up saying. Welcome to Sburb: Now installing…1%...? minutes remaining. Well, that was promising.

==== > Hurry up and respond to Gin. She sounds cool

You begin to pester AP. Gin is your friend she’s a bit goofy and like to take on lots of projects that get finished to varying degrees of done. But she never dwells upon her mistakes and is all around fun to be with and super outgoing unlike yourself.

monstrousSpectacle has begun pestering alchemicalPedigree at 1:31 PM

MS: Hey. Got your message.  
AP: Oh shit. Its the guy.  
MS: Yeah. It’s me. So did your Aunt take the copy from you or something?  
AP: Well I kind of made a mess with my latest experiment so she’s holding onto it while I clean. Its off in the lighthouse so I’m told  
MS: Isn’t that hard to do from you know. Your computer?  
AP: pesterchum mobile boiii you should get it  
Ms: Still  
AP: Relax I’m almost done. I’ll be ready to whomp on baddies or whatever it is you do in this game soon enough.  
MS: How much do you have to clean?  
AP: a lot my dude  
MS: How much is a lot?  
AP sent a picture message: this much.jpg at 1:37 PM  
MS: Jesus. What did you do?  
AP: Chemistry is hard kids  
MS: I guess so. Have you talked to Cal today?  
AP: Yea hes probably playing videogames or something he hasn’t picked up when I messaged him earlier  
MS: If it’s all the same to you Gin I’m going to see if he wants to play this Sburb game.  
AP: No problems here Im just going to keep cleaning probably forever  
AP: I’m probably not supposed to join the game until later though  
MS: Wait what?  
AP: Dream stuff.  
MS: How am I the normal one in this group? I’m gonna go talk to Cal  
monstrousSpectacle has ceased pestering alchemicalPedigree at 1:40 PM

==== > Check sburb progress

You check the progress of your sburb install. It is now showing 23% well…now 24% so it’s not going at a terrible pace pace, you should be able to play within the hour. You should talk to Cal to make sure that he is apprised of the situation. You are suddenly assaulted by a bright yellow dialogue box on your screen once more.

==== > Quick examine that message!

You peer at the message. A cyan text reads back at you. It’s your friend mistyReagent aka Calvin Strauss. You two have known each other for a long time. He's a big fan of your Mom’s videogames. And he’s way better than you are at them too. Which really Steams Your Broccoli.

mistyReagent has begun pestering monstrousSpectacle at 2:00 PM  
MR: Hey Dan  
MS: How do you always do that?  
MR: do what  
MS: I was literally about to message you. And then you just?  
MR: wow spooky  
MS: Right? You’re the spookiest.  
MR: MC Spooky Boogie up in the house  
MS: So do you have your copy of the game? Sburb. I’m told it is called by scholars of the learned variety.  
MR: yea  
MR: havent installed it yet  
MR: I was going to wait for the initial report from the troops  
MR: see if it was good enough for the harddrive space  
MS: Yeah its pretty big on disk space from what I’m seeing  
MR: its a sandbox man its going to be huge  
MS: Yeah that’s the idea. Something to get lost in for a few hours.  
MR: hope theres cool explosions  
MS: Oh my god right?  
MR: How long is the install?  
MS: Weirdly short? I’ve almost halfway done already  
MR: cool tell me when that finishes  
MR: I’ve got to help my Dads with groceries theyre gonna be home soon I think  
mistyReagent has ceased pestering monstrousSpectacle at 2:19 PM

You sigh. Cal has a way of ending conversation that you Do Not Like but it’s whatever. You two are best friends from the Long Long Ago time he stayed at your house for a week when his parents were having Difficulties to be sorted out. It probably meant nothing to him but actually being able to talk to a real person not through the internet and have it Go Well meant a lot to you. Or something stupid like that. Sburb is at 76% and climbing so you now are left waiting. You push those thoughts to the side as they are Not Important.

==== > Dan: Ponder  
You stretch out in your desk chair. Waiting on Sburb to finish installing. There is a light streaming in through the one window. This is pretty okay. You have the house to yourself for a few hours. Quiet and the dull sounds of distorted jazz from downstairs are pretty suitable to the mood. You look out over your collection of books and papers, and your pet chameleon Marv. As you examine your domain you realize something:  
You need to clean.

==== > Forget that. Feed the Lizard  
You get up and head to your chameleon’s enclosure. He is hiding as usual, but you spot him by his silhouette. He’s generally been a Very Good Lizard so you often spoil him with worms and other such lizard treats. But you just fed him worms yesterday. You have a small refrigerator in your room where you keep Marv Things like worms, crickets and lettuce. You break up lettuce into tiny bits for your lizard. He studies you with one eye and eats a few bits before climbing a wall of his tank and sitting there. Quality Human to Lizard Interaction. Your bonding level has increased by 10%. Today is a good day indeed. There’s a ding from your computer. Sburb must be done installing.

==== > Dan: Play video games  
You make to play video games. Sburb loads up after the end user license agreement that you don’t read. You hit play and are greeted with a black screen accompanied by green text. “Waiting for server player to connect” You’d had no idea that a server player would even be required. You look for some sort of user manual and find nothing except another disc labelled server. Well that was vague. You shrug and captchalogue it under the tag round, computer and disc again. You probably just need a friend to help you set it up. Cal was probably back by now unless he had gotten distracted. You make to message him. Only to once again be assailed by additional attention that had not been requested. This time from an aeternalDiva. Your friend Ame, usually she was so busy and rarely had any downtime. How was she the one messaging you? You were certain that she was going to be Out for most of the day.

aeternalDiva has begun pestering monstrousSpectacle  
AD: Hey Dan. Do you have the game?  
MS: Trying to play it as we speak.  
AD: Okay good. Did you install it on your laptop?  
MS: Yeah that would be necessary.  
AD: Okay snarkypants. I was just asking. I thought you might install it on Your Mom’s Computer  
MS: She’s got a huge password on it. I don’t think I’d be getting into it. It’s like digital Fort Knox. Or something more current.Like the breaking into hackercatraz or something.  
AD: lol the password is probably something like xXSwagM0M420Xx  
MS: Please don’t make me look at this with my own human eyes. Such a statement should be burnt from the internet forever.  
AD: Well have fun with the game Dan!  
MS: Yeah I hope to. It needs a server player are you free?  
AD: I can’t be your server player right now sorry Dan!  
aeternalDiva has ceased pestering monstrousSpectacle

Well that was just Ame, she was usually far too busy to play games, of any sort really, but when the time came she was great to be around. Granted she seemed to always be able to make time for friends, it was odd that she didn’t jump at the chance. You make to message Cal again. This time actually starting a conversation. For once.

==== > Message the Cal  
monstrousSpectacle has begun pestering mistyReagent at 2:27 PM  
MS: Hey Cal.  
MR: Yo  
MR: what is up my righteous dude?  
MS: You sound like Gin.  
MR: too memey?  
MR: should i shout ride the wave pilgrim in an ironic voice  
MS: Too something. Hey this game needs another person to set up. Did you get a server disc?  
MR: yea I got two. I’m installing the server disc  
MR: that was a question my bad  
MS: Yeah I already have the client installed so I guess you’ll be the server for now? Until we get this sorted out.  
MR: something like that I figured I might be doing this  
MS: How?  
MR: gut feeling  
MS: Well okay. Once again you are the spooky. Captain Spooky Spooker  
MR: ooga booga  
MR: next time I make a character ill name him captain spooky spooker in your honor  
MS: Are you installing? I still need a righteous man to be my server player. Still not sure what it means  
MR: Yeah it should take no time at all on my rig Im at 20%  
MR: so how’s your mom?  
MS: You know, busy. She’s out with friends right now celebrating the creation of this game and all. Big accomplishment  
MR: word did she take your picture again this year?  
MS: So how’s home?  
MR: good  
MR: ass  
MR: 80% btw  
MS: Damn that’s fast. What the fuck did you do to your computer?  
MR: solid state poopy boy  
MS: Wow maybe I should have just run this on my Mom’s computer. Ame suggested it. She thinks the pass is xXSwagM0M or something like that.  
MR: amazing  
MR: oop  
MR: Im ready just going to launch it  
MS: Yep. Let’s get our Sburb on.  
MR: that sounded better in your head  
MR: I am sure  
MS: Shush.  
MR: I’m booting the game  
MR: connecting now  
MR: whoa  
MR: dude I can see your room  
MS: Like? My actual room? You’re looking into my room right now? Where I sleep?  
MR: how many other dudes have lizard tanks  
MS: I’m waving right now. Can you see me waving?  
MR: yeah  
MR: dude this is like  
MR: spooky  
MS: Spooky.  
MS: God dammit you always do that.  
MR: do what  
MS: know when I’m going to say something and beat me to it.  
MR: I don’t waste time with grammar or punctuation  
MR: gets things done faster  
MR: so with the spooky out the way  
MR: what do we do here  
MS: I don’t know. Did you get an instruction book or something? I think my package may have been woefully incomplete.The package I got in the mail. With the game.  
MR: nope  
MR: you  
MS: I don’t know man you’re the one who’s weirdly good at videogames.  
MR: just a sec  
MR: I got options on options up in this mother  
MR gotta process to win this popsicle stand  
MS: Just don’t like…kill anything. Especially Marv. He’s my son.  
MR: Okay so there’s something that the game calls a cruxtruder  
MR: it looks like a big tube with a square base  
MR: I think Im supposed to deploy it somewhere  
MR: your room is kinda small for it  
MS: Oh god no you can see my room? The whole thing. Oh no that’s the worst.  
MR: yeah you need to clean  
MR: like an exploded closet in here  
MR: except Marvs tank  
MR: he is pristine  
MR: magnificent lizard  
MS: I just heard a thunk. It was like super loud.  
MR: oh  
MR: I just placed the Cruxstruder  
MR: I think that that was it  
MR: man I can see all up into your house  
MR: feels kinda wrong  
MS: Well it should. You are SPYING ON MY HOUSE. I’m going to check out this thing you put into my living room

You make to grab your laptop and captchalogue it into your sylladex under the tags. Computer, Electronic and Communication. You also try to grab your phone but it is captchalogued under the same tags. Now you’ll have to pull them out at the same time and it will be a mess. What a horrific system. And yet. It makes sense. Truly a time to be alive. 

==== > Descend


	2. ======> Enter

==== > Dan: Descend

\-------------------------------------------

You descend down the stairs. Well Cal was right it was big. Thing loomed large like the proverbial elephant in the room And he’d dropped it on top of the Ancient Coffee Table that your Mom had gotten as a gift. Old goat somehow still held the weight. That horrid thing could probably survive a bomb for all of the bumped knees it had given you. There’s a wheel on the side. You stand on your toes to crank it and it refuses to budge. You pull your laptop out of your sylladex. Very carefully. In order to not break either your phone or your Important Laptop communication device. You continue pestering MR. Or well, catch up with what he has been doing.

MR: while you’re doing that I’ll just start placing some other things around your house  
MR: looks like theres this thing called an alchimiter.  
MR Im just dropping that on your porch  
MR: oh I can center the camera on you thats cool  
MR: looks like youre having some trouble there bud  
MR: dammit Dan  
MR Install pester on your phone  
MS: Ok. I tried to open it. That went over…not so great. And I don’t want it on my phone.  
MR: and here I thought we were friends  
MS: Don’t be a dingus. Of course we’re friends I just don’t want to be up at 1 AM while you guys are talking to me. Guy needs his sleep. And also I like to be left alone like any sane person would.  
MR: Im being such a dingus right now  
MR: you should talk with us later at night my dude  
MR: and youre alone a lot dude  
MR: I think I can pick up objects in your house  
MR: Want me to whack that cruxtruder thing with like  
MR:something heavy  
MS: Sure. I guess that’s a good a plan as any. Just don’t break any of the furniture. Please? My mom would be Very Upset.  
MR: I make no promises  
MR: also heads up I needed to get something heavy from your room

You hear a thumping sound and the refrigerator from your room comes barreling down the staircase, knocking against the wall on its magical journey. You duck out of the way as it knocks one of the pictures of your face aside.It crashes down the stairs. That is an acceptable loss you think. The fridge hovers in the air for a few seconds before it is brought down on top of the Cruxtruder with a mighty thunk. The door swings open with the force of the impact scattering chilled crickets and worms everywhere all over your carpet. Oh no and then they’re going to thaw and then smell and it will be just absolutely horrible. The lid of the cruxtruder was shattered by the impact a pale purple light shines out of the tube and then there is a sound so baffling as to be indescribable like pictures trying to become words trying to become sounds. A sphere leaps out of the tube shedding an eerie light over your living room. It jumps from place to place, skittish. You realize your laptop has been beeping angrily at you this whole time

==== > Dan: Check your messages. Like Goddamn  
MR: holy shit  
MR: what is that thing  
MR: oh shit  
MR: uh Dan there this countdown thing on my screen it looks like you’ve got five minutes to do  
MR: something  
MS: I don’t know. It looks like….I don’t know what it looks like. What do I do? I don’t want to lose this game.  
MR: my gut says you have to throw something into it  
MR: will likely destroy it though  
MRL the thing you throw into it  
MR: so pick something you hate  
MS: It looks super jumpy. I don’t think I could throw something into it. There’s a version of that timer on the crux-thingie too.  
A chair flew across the room, crashing to the wall. You look at it, roll your eyes and return to messaging.  
MS: Please don’t throw my Mom’s furniture at it. Just…don’t do that. I’ll figure something out for that.  
Another chair hit the wall, impotently, shattering against itl.  
MS: God. Dammit. Cal.  
MR: oops missed your message  
MR: Ill stop  
MR: what do you want to put into it  
MR: im limited to a pretty small area around you  
MR: this vexes me  
MR: since i can literally only throw chairs and shit at it  
MS: I’m figuring it out. We’ve got this gargoyle on the mantel that’s pretty gnarly. Always wanted to be rid of that. And how are you certain this thing wants to have things put into it.  
MR: instinct dude  
MS: Well you’re already grabbing that awful gargoyle so  
MR: Yeah. Here ya go.  
MS: Thanks. Wish me luck.

==== > Dan attempt to whatever with the…doohickey with the ugly gargoyle.

The gargoyle looks at you with its unblinking lacquered ceramic eyes. Your Mom had made it in a class years ago and it’s been watching you ever since. Judging you. It knows that you spilled soda on the carpet and it had better keep its mouth shut. You move slowly toward the flying sphere. That was how you did these things. You got closer and tried to move the gargoyle into it. Your laptop beeped again and the glowing sphere vibrated incoherent colors and symbol at you and it flew up the stairs you dashed after it. You’re going to get this damn gargoyle into this damn glowing fairy looking mother it is that last thing you do! The sprite bursts through the door to your room. You are ready. You dive at it with gargoyle ready to SLAM FREAKING DUNK on this glowy bastard. You trip on nothing and sail right into the table that holds Marv’s tank, at speed. Things go flying as you can only curse your rotten luck and crash into it. Glass and sand fly into the air while you land in a heap. Launching one hapless lizard into the air.

==== > Marv: Soar

You are now Marv. You are a lizard. Specifically you are a leopard chameleon. The large being that houses you feeds you worms, crickets, lettuce and even sometimes mice. Life is pretty great for a lizard. You are now also currently flying through the air. Probably in slow motion this would look amazing. But you are also flying toward a strange bright light. Your lizard brain doesn’t believe in heaven nor hell but you are certain this is most unorthodox for a lizard. Your body melds with the glow. You are simultaneously destroyed but remade.

==== > Dan: Behold

You are Dan again. Your hair is now matted with dirt and broken glass. You sputter soil and some leaves.. The small glowing sphere is shaking and morphing. It extends purple limbs as its body…yeah its body elongates to a more reptilian dimension. It. It looks just like Marv. What the hell? You hear beeping from downstairs. You get up and dust yourself off and check the damage. Nothing major. Well nothing more than a severely bruised ego which is The Worst part. You go downstairs to check back on your messages. Your newly ascended chameleon is now following you around which is highly unnerving. Slightly more so are the speech bubbles that just say “mlem”. So now you have a ghost lizard following you around.

==== > Dan: Check messages  
MR: just get it in there dude  
MR: o shit  
MR: what did you trip on  
MR: are you okay  
MR: im laughing right now  
MR: yo what happened to that sprite thing  
MR: dude it looks like Marv  
MR: you turned your lizard into a ghost  
MS: I’m fine. Thanks. That cruxtruder thing is beeping. Which is pretty concerning. I’ll investigate. Everything else is pretty unimportant right now.  
MR: sent screencapture-1.png  
MS: I can only assume that is me. Sprawled out after, heroically mind you, trying to get a gargoyle. Which has somehow remained intact. Somehow. Into that purple thingie as you told me to do. And now my lizard got sucked into the God Damn Spirit World.  
MR: pretty much  
MR: also we have like 3 minutes before whatever happens.  
MR: I found this thing in the menu  
MR: its called a totem lathe  
MR: I think you use it with this.   
MR: im finding literature as we speak  
MR: most is unhelpful or poorly written

There was a thump when a large lathe like device appeared out of nothingness appeared right next to the cruxtruder. It was littered with buttons and dials. A card materializes out of thin air and falls on your head. Its dotted with rectangular holes. Likely in a comical fashion to an outsider. But you are having none of that right now. No sir. You slam that thing into the slot as MR continues to beep at you. What even is this damn game? The lathe thing beeps at you, unsatisfied. Ghost Marvin was just floating next to you being remarkably unhelpful though he was still a lizard. Just an undead one.Now a ghostly arbiter in the trial of mankind’s sins

MS: It didn’t take. I think I’m missing something.Like there’s a piece I need that’s not here.  
MR:uh  
MR: shit  
MR: try the stuff we already have  
MR: dont have anything else I can try from here  
MS: I’m going to try that cruxtruder thing  
MR: seems good  
MR: your mom is home btw  
MR: she doesnt look happy that I dropped the alchemiter on your porch.  
MR: shes looking up at the sky right now  
MR: not sure what is up with that  
MS: You did what? Stop messing with my house dammit!  
MR: wasn’t space anywhere else  
MR: besides it really completes the look it was meant to be there  
MR: we have less than two minutes  
MR: hurry  
MS: We are going to have a serious talk about meddling after this is all over. Like the kind on an after school special. There might be tears  
MR: Dan  
MS: Yeah. I’m going. I’m going.

==== > There is little time. Dan: Make the thing

You make the thing urged onward by the most eldritch of horrors. Failure. You turn the crank of the cruxtruder and it pushes out an obscenely purple tube. You guess that it likely goes to the totem lathe that Cal had just placed. You fit it into the working area and turn the thing on. It beeps in approval and whirs to life. Carving out the tube into something that looks more like a vase. You grab it and follow the order of operations to the alchemiter. Bizarre platform looking device with strange armatures and lenses. You place your Obscenely Purple vase onto the only pedestal. A lens scans the item with a lurid glare. And something materializes on the platform. You jump out of the way to avoid violating the laws of physics. Which would be pretty bad all told. A large rectangle appears, glowing, purple. Ominous. A dull glow is starting to suffuse everything around you. There is a shadow in the sky. Whatever it is it doesn’t look good. Perhaps this construct can help. It stands. A flat monolith reflecting back at you mockingly.

==== > Mom: Look up

You are now Dan’s Mom. You enjoy Mom things like making video games, arts and crafts and gladiatorial combat. You’ve just raced home because of ominous lights appearing in the sky and you must check up on your only son. You sped off from your after-after party. Choosing to skip the after-after-after party. Much to the chagrin of your coworkers. You zip into your driveway. Stepping out of your car, you drop your bag. A massive fiery shape appeared in the sky bearing down upon you. This was it. This is how it happened. The end was coming. So that was the state of things now. You knew you hand in this and you had made your peace all that was left was to wait.

==== > That was dark. Dan: Enter

There is no time. The end is here. The obelisk reflects back at you. Showing your desperate face. You peer at it but all it does is peer all the harder back into you. Betraying nothing. Giving you nothing, just your eyes and pleading face reflected back at you insistent. Inscrutable. Absolutely frustrating. Even to this game the only thing that seemed important was you, you were constantly being studied and monitored, it made you sick. There is no recourse. You didn’t want to be looked at for at least a little while. Too many eyes and just too much. You lash out at it. Knocking your reflection square in the face. The entire thing careens off of your porch, over the railing. Shattering with magnificent spectacle. Honestly seven years of bad luck has probably never looked this majestic or this cathartic there’s a flash of mauve light. The giant whatever above you still bears down and then you hear an enormous world shifting:

~SNOP~

And you are pulled, quite aggressively to somewhere else

==== > End of Act 1


	3. ====> Begin Act 2

A large curtain closes upon the display.So endeth the act you suppose. The whir and a clicking issues forth from the device you are using to play this game. The curtain opens to a scene of an alien planet awash with tentacles of an ugly color like aged parchment and a million pricks of light dotting the landscape. A prompt appears staring at you over the horizon of this horrific unknown world. 

Begin Act 2?

The prompt flashes for a moment. You hit the return key, pressing onward.

==== > Enter: Act 2

You’re still Dan. In the midst of a massive transition. With the massive force of an horrific font change you are hurled. Lurching into a great and horrific wonderful unknown. A roulette spins, covered in words and stumbling phrases. Pixel, horror, silence, castles, bees. Rapidly changing colors and shapes. At the last it slows and settles triumphantly on: Grimoires and Lanterns the text floats as the lurching stops and you are now in an alien landscape completely divorced from the world that we would know and comprehend.

==== > Dan: Behold

Your house still stands and you are remarkably unsmushed by a giant piece of hurtling something from the sky. That’s good news. Your house is now floating amidst a field of dark, unearthly purple that croons softly with unspoken dreads and horrors. You look down and see a land of spiraling breadths of tentacles and paper below you, amidst millions of tiny glowing lights like fireflies against a hungry void. You hear a beeping. It is insistent. You move back to your laptop to report your progress. If you could still even reach Cal.

==== > Dan: Get pestered  
MR: dude what is that light  
MR: oh man  
MR: what is happening with that mirror  
MR: oh god  
MR: I hope you’re okay  
MR: Dan  
MR: What happened  
MR: Im seeing a lot of black stuff now.  
MR: dude   
MR: install pester on your phone  
MR: it is not hard  
MS: Okay. Crisis averted. Well for now. So my house kinda floaty out in a weird liminal space. I’m fine. Just so you know.  
MR: I saw that  
MR: rough when you cant reply immediately  
MS: I’ve told you that you’re a little controlling right? I think that I’ve done that.  
MR: hey man  
MR: usually we watch out for our friends  
MR: not being there is making it a little tough since Im bound to a laptop  
MR: Id pick it up with the cursor but I think that I would break it  
MS: I understand that. I’ll think about it. So how does it look on your end? Like what else do we have to do.  
MR: well  
MR: your mom is kind of just chillin  
MS: I’ll talk to her don’t worry. I meant like what options are left and what do you have to do with the game? Like are there any cool new things to build or whatever?   
MR: oh yeah  
MR: I tried to move the cruxtruder  
MR: but its like super expensive to move  
MR: everything in this game seems to run on this thing called build grist  
MR: Im finding out more about it presently  
MS: Like gold? Weird name for a resource. Granted this whole game is a shit show.  
MR: exactly  
MR: so you have like 20  
MR: grist that is  
MS: Is that bad?  
MR: yeah  
MR: shits prohibitively expensive  
MS: Damn. That’s a solid word for that dude. A plus plus. My dude.  
MR: okay Gin  
MS: You thought that was charming. Just admit it.  
MR: Im doing all of the things I can on my end here  
MR: it looks like I can make additions to your house  
MR: ive done so  
MR: check out your room  
MR: I want to see if this worked  
MS: Know that I do so with a huge hint of trepidation. Like massive amounts of horrible dread. Full on eldritch horror in this mother. Also how is this important?  
MR: I gotta see if this works right  
MR: thats why

==== > Dan: ascend stairs

This time you actually bring your laptop with you admittedly a bit confused that internet communication somehow still works in the land of Grimoires and Lanterns. You allocate it to the single tag computer this time so as to not make it mix up with your phone. Along the way you clean up the mess left by the refrigerator. You pick up five (5) grubs and place them under, bug, food, and gross tags. You pick up two (2) mostly thawed mice putting them under the food, gross and animal tags. And you pick up a dozen (12) crickets placing them under the bug and food tags. With your work done. You skedaddle up the stairs to your room. Most of the wall where your window used to be has been removed. In its place is a rather crudely constructed balcony about the same color as the siding of your house. You pick up your room a bit. Picking up the broken glass first captchaloging six (6) shards of it and tagging them sharp and fragile. Marv sprite continues to follow you silently studying your surroundings with his disjointed eyes. He glows faintly in an ugly purple. What game could your mother have been making? Did she know it could alter reality this much? You give your now ghostly lizard a hesitant pap and look out upon the new surroundings. Massive vellum colored tentacles stretch up towards the sky, seemingly animated by wind or will of their own. The subtle glow of thousands of tiny lights illuminates the surface of this planet. You would pause for thought but another beep demands your attention. You hit the computer tag and your laptop pops out.

mistyreagent has begun pestering monstrousSpectacle at 2:45 PM  
MR: uh dude  
MR: this is in your kitchen  
MR: sent: screen-capture-2  
MS: What is that and what is it doing in MY mother’s kitchen?  
MR: check it out I guess  
MR: looks like a bad dude  
MR: do you have your specibus set  
MR: I think you will need to kill it  
MS: I’ll figure it out.  
MR: you don’t have your specibus set do you  
You wait for the next message but there doesn’t seem to be one coming. You put your laptop away under its favorite tags. How was there all of this stuff happening NOW. And to you of all people. Felt like way too much attention. You gird yourself and head back down stairs. You can hear a faint scratching and you see shimmering gold trails of what looks like glitter. Streaks of it appear on your walls. Well now this place was even more of a mess. And glitter would never leave you truly. 

==== >  
You once again activate: Sneak Mode and creep back into your kitchen. You smell it before you see it. A foetid skull invading stench like pitch and burning hair. You creep in and you see it. A glittering…thing, impish but it had distinctly reptilian features to it. A tail, and eyes that watched ALL. You get closer, steadily closer. You reach out for something anything to strike this foul beast. Your hand touches a serving plate left by your mother's party. A green card activates. Specibus set. Platekind Accepted flashes on the screen. Son. Of . A Bitch. The imp locks one eye on you and peers into your soul. It rears and leaps at you.

==== > Dan: Strife that thing!  
Strife activates! Your health bar fills up as does the Pyrite Imp’s. You take on whatever stance you could. Your foe seizes The Initiative and leaps at you. You abjure that using your plate like a shield. Its claws rake over it making a keening noise that defies mortal words. You run as quick as you can jumping over the counter. You spy several more plates littering the table. In for a penny in for a pound you suppose. You pick up six (6) more plates your specibus adjusting to X7 platekind. You wing one of the plates at the imp, it crashes into the wall, ineffectual, shattering into innumerable pieces. Ordinarily your Mom would be Super Miffed but you think you could make your case this time. On the grounds of a game she made may be trying to kill you. You fling another plate as the imp leaps at you. Catching it squarely in the jaw forcing it to recoil. Another zips into its chest. You close to it and bring a fourth plate down on its head, braining it. The plate shatters and the fell creature explodes into experience and loot. Whatever that is.

==== > Dan: Climb echeladder  
Another horrible abstraction entity appears beside you. You have ascended from Alonely Homely to Luckless Lad! Your maximum grist has increased you also have more health or something. Perhaps you get more damage or a feat at this level? Who knows. Abstraction doesn’t have to explain shit or make a lick of sense.

==== Dan: Pester Cal

monstrousSpectacle has begun pestering mistyReagent at 3:01 PM  
MS: Hey. I killed that thing and it exploded into stuff.  
MS: Are you there Cal?  
MR: yes  
MR: Im back  
MR: we have a storm where I live and its wreaking havoc on internet here  
MR: glad you killed it  
MR: looked gross anyway  
MS: So it exploded into stuff  
MR: thats build grist  
MS: Does it look like blue gushers? Cause that’s what it looks like. Also some blocks of something.  
MR: yea that’s the stuff  
MR: walk over it  
MS: Okay. Now what?  
MR: now  
MR: now I think you keep killing things and I keep building stuff  
MS: That seems woefully inequitable  
MR: dont hate the player hate the game  
MS: But you are making that so hard right now. So I guess I’ll have to keep breaking plates over these things heads then. Since they are you know. In my house where I live and also eat food.  
MR: platekind  
MR: really  
MS: You know full well that I have shit luck. Even the ladder thingie called me a luckless lad. I touched a plate and it zooped into my specibus.  
MR: you just got read by a damn game man  
MR: absolute tomfoolery  
MS: Think you can throw a fridge at these things? That worked well before.Besides I think my house is beginning to run low on flatware at the moment.  
MR: that is in fact the plan  
MR: dude your Mom is a bad ass  
MS: What? Where is she? I haven’t seen her.  
MR: shes on your roof  
MR: those imp things are trying to get her  
MR: shes just wasting them with a pistol dude  
MR: shes like a swat team  
MR: in heels  
MS: Fuck that I’m going to go help. I’m not about to be outdone by my own mother.  
MR: you do that.  
MR: Ill help from my end  
MR Ive placed something called the punch designix on your porch  
MR: may want to look into that after this is all over  
MS: Yeah. Not quite as valuable as keeping my Mom from getting eaten by imps that look like my pet lizard.  
monstrousSpectacle has ceased pestering mistyReagent at 3:09 PM

==== > Dan: Hero Mode it up

You race out of your house with your stack of plates in tow. Captchaloging more to your sylladex under the tag, round and flat and fragile, Marv sprite follows behind you “mleming” with anticipation. Outside you hear gunshots and horrid screaming coming from the imps. Glittering monstrosities are dispatched, tumbling down the side of the roof as you attempt to climb it. Blocks appear on your roof as handholds. Likely from Cal’s intervention. You race up onto a platform though you’re still far from Mom who is disposing of the imps left and right with carefully placed shots while leaping higher onto new parts of the building as they are being assembled. Keeping just out of range of the imps grasp and lashing tongues. Really glad you didn’t put the gargoyle into the sprite right now because then they would be flying imps and that would just be the worst honestly. You make it up and imps bar your path. One of them is lanced by a glowing purple tongue as Marvsprite comes to your aid. Good lizard. You whip a plate at one of the imps. Taking it in the face and sending it plummeting to its doom. An imp scratches you across the face and you bring your stack of plates up under its chin for a Flatware Uppercut. It pops instantly and you bathe in the grist of your slain enemies. It feels awesome.

==== >

You continue to climb, a spire has formed out of nothing as you ascend.. Imps easily climb the structure with their weird little chameleon hands.. One of them makes to attack, but is bashed to bits by a flying refrigerator. Thanks Cal. You reach the top section. You’re getting close now. Your Mom is still holding her own keeping the imps back with both fist and bullets. You almost make it to her when you feel the ground shake. A massive ogre like being has somehow climbed all this way. You look to your Mom for guidance but she just silently points at the beast. Inscrutable as ever. You turn to face it. You have two plates left. The refrigerator floats beside you. It flies towards the ogre…and then plummets tragically to the ground far before reaching its quarry. Of all the luck. Cal’s internet must have been acting up again. Now it was just you, Mom and Marvsprite. You steel yourself and prepare to strife like you’ve never strifed before. 

==== >

A lone gunshot takes the ogre in the chest, punching through its tough scales with ease. You whip a plate at it striking it in the face dealing a mediocre amount of damage. Marvsprite climbs a part of the spire striking at the ogre with his tongue. Hitting it in the eye, making it reel back. The orge tears a chunk off of the house and throws it at you. You barely dip out of the way as the hunk of hurtling architecture careens out into the void. You seize its moment of imbalance to whip your last plate at it. You connect but you do not deal nearly enough damage. It is bearing down upon you now. You fight with your sylladex hitting the fragile tag. It gives you a Ker chunk sound and there’s a sizzle from the abstraction. A slew of plates and glass spew forth from the fragile tag. Hurtling into the ogre. The words “critical hit” appear over its head in glowing pixelated font as a shard of glass sticks into its eye it falls backward off of your home and lands on your yard before exploding into a pile of colorful grist. You stand up, turning and your Mom is gone. All of the imps that she was fighting vanished too. You call out but there is no reply. Your guardian has vanished into the unknown. 

==== > Dan: Be okay

You climb down from your now garishly misshapen house in silence with the combat over. Any imps have seemingly vanished. You retreat into your room. You return to your desk for a moment. There’s so much you don’t know and even more that you don’t want to either. You do want to know where your Mom went and that was the first priority. Likely the only priority as she might know more about this hellish game. You open the computer tag and pull out your laptop. You open pesterchum again. You already have several missed messages from Cal.

mistyReagent has begun pestering monstrousSpectacle at 3:50 PM  
MR: GOD DAMMIT  
MR: my internet cut out again  
MR: hey you killed the ogre thing  
MR: wait where’s your Mom  
MR: Dan are you okay  
MS: I’m fine. I don’t know where she is but she’s tough and I’m sure she’ll be fine, she might have gone somewhere we can’t see. She’s pretty sneaky like that.  
MR: shes missing  
MS: I’m fine. What’s up with your internet?  
MR: liar  
MR: theres this freak rainstorm  
MR: its making this a huge mess  
MR: doesn’t look like things are going to let up.  
MR: levees better hold  
MS: Yeah. So what do we do now? What’s the next step? Are you going to be okay with your internet?  
MR: im looking  
MR: wow you have a lot of grist  
MR: also this material called pyrite  
MR: we will need that for more advanced stuff  
MS: So we build more? I think we build more. I killed an ogre with my sylladex I think I deserve a bigger room.  
MR: believe so  
MR: theres also a shitload of upgrades for your alchemiter  
MR: so might want to look into that  
MS: Yeah. I think I will do so. I’ll figure it out. Though I guess I’ll have to find a way to make more of those cards that the thing used. And I guess make sure there’s no more imps in the house  
MS: Cause that’s terrible.  
MS: Cal? Goddammit again with the internet?  
MS: I’ll talk to you later.

monstrousSpectacle has ceased pestering mistyReagent at 4:00 PM

==== > Examine Alchemiter

Before that you have business. Something Very Important. That supersedes satisfying Cal’s curiosity, you had to find something out.

==== > Very well

You step out of your room onto the crudely constructed balcony. You climb up the handholds that were created earlier. On the roof you cast your gaze out to wherever your mother might be. All you see is a spiraling blackness and tentacles. Marvsprite nudges your leg and gestures to a hole in your house. That the ogre had tore the chunk out of. Thanks weird ghost lizard. A way into your mother’s room. Which was locked at all times and the one place you were forbidden to go into ever since you were young. Authority demands that you do not enter. But curiosity is a mistress that you find irresistible. You leap down into your mother’s room.

==== > Descend


	4. ===> Alchemize

==== > Descend

\---------------------------------------

You land on the carpeted floor. Hero posing for no one in particular. Within are shelves of books and her plain bed. There are innumerable trinkets and oddities scattered around. Your Mom was a notorious hoarder of all things vaguely mystical or mysterious. You guess you took after that in some regard. There are stacks of tomes from varying levels of erudition. There is also a large safe that stands there. Taunting you with its unrelenting stoicism. You scout the place out. Under the safe’s righteous foot you find a stack of five (5) captchalogue cards. You shrug and take them. You have never wanted for more space but you will claim them anyhow. Tagging them as I don’t know. Inventory, card, and abstract. Who cares? On the dresser there is a silver key. Must go to Mom’s study where she housed her computer. A strange and often temperamental machine that she used to do code work on the video games she created. It was locked when she wasn’t home and even when she was home you were honestly a little afraid to go near it. You could hear her in the night sometimes conducting unspeakable symphonies of functions and commands. How you wondered what they had truly meant. Was this what she had been working on this whole time? Perhaps that was why she kept swearing at the device when she thought you weren’t around.

==== >

You continue to look. You gaze at the shelves of tomes. Many of them books by Excellent Women as your Mom called them. At the bottom of the shelf you find it. The book that you first read together. Frankenstien. To be quite honest it wasn’t quite age appropriate but it taught you to never try and build a human also don’t drop out of medical school to practice necromancy. You pick it up…with your hands. For living with her this long there was still a lot you didn’t know about her. She kept to herself or was working. She spent time with you during meals and that was it. And now…now you didn’t know where she was. Yet another mystery. You wipe the mistiness from your eyes. That wasn’t important. You told yourself. You looked at the book and there was a scrap of paper there was a series of numbers scrawled upon it. It just had the words unfortunate written next to it. 16180339. You take the note as well as the book. Tagging them before putting them away. You have had quite enough of this place. You open the door and head back downstairs.

==== > Now do we alchemize?

Yes. Now we alchemize. Or at least try to.You fight your way through several more imps. This has become a lot easier since you climbed the echeladder. Though they’re still making a huge mess of gold dust on the floor, which is simply awful. You will simply have to find a way to clean that up. This is a horrendous mess not for the sight of mortals and must be destroyed. Perhaps you could dig out the vacuum cleaner or something later on. However that can wait. Learning what you can about this game is more Important right now. To the alchemiter!

==== >

You realize as you approach the alchemiter you are lacking several important pieces. Like a totem for the device to scan in order to produce. This is a moment of utter buffoonery. You are glad that no one is watching you. To the Cruxtruder!

==== >

You return to the cruxtruder and it emits several cruxite dowels for you. You captchalogue all of them under the tags weird, sburb and alchemy. That ought to do it. Thankfully you’d found all of those captchalogue cards from earlier to use in the punch deisgnix. You rummage around in your sylladex for something to copy. You find your headset that you had completely forgotten was in there. Somehow interacting with the abstraction you place it into the totem lathe and go to town. It spits out an odd totem that you file away. You notice that the lathe has multiple slots so you may be able to combine cards in a way to get different results. You will test this later. After a lot of running around you now have an exact copy of your headset. Fortunate as the punch designix completely destroyed that card. Just ripped it all to hell. Out of curiosity you put a blank totem and the alcehmiter spits out one (1) perfectly generic object. A small green cube made of an indeterminate substance. It smells vaguely Swedish for some reason.

==== >

Though now you have an idea. You take the card and bring your hypothesis to bear. You punch the card for the Perfectly Generic Object and one of your Mom’s plates that you haven’t smashed on an imps head and punch them together overlapping. So that there is a mixture of information. You get one Perfectly Generic Plate. It’s very plain, white and still smells vaguely Swedish. Though you aren’t going to question the smell of flatware. There is yet more beeping coming from your sylladex. Which is rapidly becoming a mess of game artifacts. You begin to extract your laptop from the mess of tags when you hear something, rustling a, shifting of scales. Another posse of imps has climbed up to your house. The leap at you. Your sylladex vomits forth a collection of electronics. Including your laptop, phone and several lightbulbs that just happened to be there. They catch the imps in the face. Your computer shatters on contact with the imp and sends it tumbling down into the great below. Leaving only its screen remaining. The imps scatter like ants at the mighty assault from your sylladex.

==== >

You look over the edge of your porch where the imp fell. Well you can kiss the computer parts of your laptop goodbye. They’re gone forever. Rest in peace laptop, you will be missed dearly. You look over the destruction. lightbulbs are shattered, your phone is still there though. Now was about as good a time as any. You really didn’t care for typing on your phone as you fingers were a bit clumsy so messages took even longer. 

==== > Dan install the communication software on your phone so that you might be able to talk to Cal again.

You do so. Though begrudgingly. No one wanted to read anything that you’d written with your fingers pecking at a screen. Least of all you. The yellow box appears and you have in total 15 missed messages, from Cal of course. Must be something very urgent.

==== >  
mistyReagent has begun pestering monstrousSpectacle at 4:19 pm  
MR: okay I got internet back at my place  
MR: this rain is something awful  
MR: so youre screwing with the alchemiter now  
MR: and not responding to your messages again  
MR: I see how it is  
MR: Ill just look around at what I can do for your house  
MR: so I’m building a path upward  
MR: seems like the thing to do  
MR: Im limited to an area around you.  
MR: okay urgent update  
MR: things are still getting worse and I need you to get me into the game  
MR: I need you to get me into this game  
MR: I think that another person doing it would just spread this weirdness around  
MR: oh fucking hell was that your laptop  
MR: jesus shit  
MS: It is okay. I have it on my phone now.I’ll use the computer in my Mom’s study for the game.. I have the key for that.  
MR: were you going to share that information at any time  
MS: It wasn’t important until just now.  
MR: Seems pretty important  
MS: I’m going to the study geez. Its just well. It’s my mom’s space and it feels weird to go in without her here. Or to go in at all.  
MR: I know  
MR: but also I might die here and that would be bad  
MR: obviously.  
MS: I get that. Okay. Here goes.

==== >

You come to the door of your Mom’s study. It occurs to you that you have never actually been inside this room of your house. Ever In fact there were a few places that you’ve just never been to. Like the basement. What arcane, secret horrors, and hidden knowledge may dwell in this house? Scholars and sages may never know. You produce the key to the room with your sylladex and open the door. It opens with a horrible silence as you peer into the, surprisingly, well lit room. There’s many windows that limn the place with a half light coming off of the alien land outside. It illuminates the black beast of a computer. There’s oddments and baubles aplenty hanging from the ceiling and walls making them shimmer in gold and purple. The only odd piece is a shield hanging from the wall. It looks unattended and dusty with the years. You touch it and place it into your sylladex under round, defensive and off hand. On a whim. You never know when something may be useful. You go to the computer and take out the Sburb server disc. Well here goes nothing. You hear a rustling almost of paper coming from outside, you look up just in time as a massive tentacle of vellum and malice slams into your house. The whole place shakes, trinkets and baubles crash around you. Your home is ripped asunder with horrific force, you scramble to safety, The computer and the disk fall down to the earth below along with most of the room. So much for that plan. Good to know that the planet is also trying to kill you. Your phone continues to beep with alarming frequency as you lie panting, recovering from the shock.

==== >  
MR: okay  
MR: oh shit what is that  
MR: fucking  
MR: fuck  
MR: shit  
MR: are you okay Dan?  
MS: Yeah. I’m fine here. Better than the house that’s for sure.  
MS: I don’t think I’ll be able to help you in the time frame we have allotted here.  
MR: shit fucking  
MS: Get Ame she might be able to go it.  
MR: I don’t want more bad shit to happen to our friends  
MR: why cant this just be easy  
MS: Do you see other options. Only she and Gin have copies of the game. And mine is now down farther than I can jump to.Plus it’s probably destroyed. Or its intact and laughing at me like the unholy artifact that it is.  
MR: Ill talk to her  
MS: That sounds like the best bet here.

==== > Meanwhile

The camera shifts. Rather disorienting really. You are now no longer Dan. Or even in the same vicinity of Dan, and perhaps even the same time. You are…You…Who are you now? A young man stands before you, he has blonde hair and appears rather haughty and to be a bit of a know-it-all. He has a shirt with a cat on it for reasons unknown. And glasses for reasons that are more likely known The prompt appears What is this young man’s name?

Input Name:  
Input: Calvin Strauss  
Input Status: Accepted. Player 2 confirmed. Welcome Sburb Player 2

Your name is Calvin Strauss. You are a young man, standing in your living room. Your Dads have just left to get groceries which is something that takes a weirdly long time. For unknown reasons that burn the inside of your brain because of your insistent need TO KNOW. You you preferred to make statements rather than ask questions. You also tended to type as a stream of thought. Today is the day that you are fated to play Sburb with your friends. You had been waiting for the game’s release for some time now.

==== > Go to your room

That is where you were going to be headed anyway. The lower floors of your house hold little for you. Especially your Dads many books on relationships. Your parents fought often, worse it was usually about you. Feelings were a bitch and they would likely be better off if they just made their decisions calmly and logically. Yet they’d adopted you when you were very young and raised you with great kindness. Dad 1 wrote a lot and was a published poet in several literary magazines. He often wrote on silly, stupid love. You found it quite sickening the things that he wrote. Who could ever want to be with a person so much that they lost all of their sense? Dad 2 worked as a radio dj at a local station, he touted himself as the 9th most famous voice in your state.

==== >

Artifacts relevant to your varied interests are scattered all over the room. You love videogames, like more than one would think possible. You have been good at them for as long as you can remember. To the point that all of your friends would rather be playing with you rather than against you. Thankfully you’ve developed a taste of solitary play You also have a bookshelf in your room filled with various tomes of differing levels of loquacity. There are stacks of them from topics such as law and even science fiction. Your favorite genre is cyberpunk fiction, where a small group of brave rebels must fight against a corrupt governmental system to take back their freedom.Though they come across a quandary: “Are we really just for causing such upheaval in the name of good? Or are we merely bringing about another corrupt regime that has a different mask?” Personally you thought that they could rationalize it any way they wanted and still be wrong. All told you find these stories ridiculous but you love them anyway. A book is out of place. Glowcrash by Veal Sorenson. You file it away hastily. None can know of this horrible lack of judgement and lapse in order. No one.

==== > Examine desk

Your desk is covered with various parts and components. You have a flair for assembling Tiny Robots. Like Incredibot. As you lovingly call it. It doesn’t really do much of anything aside from move around and bump into things. But he’s learning very steadily. He now knows not to roll over the stairs of your split level. So he’s not exactly incredible. Also on your desk is your pet cat Isaac. As stoic as ever. Likely because he’s been subjected to taxidermy. You and he had been adopted by your Dads at around the same time. You’d outlived him, but now he watches, a silent vigil over his metal and plastic domain. You once, in a fit of japery most uncharacteristic gave him a hat. It has remained there for two months now. There is no need to move it. Under your desk is your personal computer. You’ve had it for years and it has gone through many different shapes and iterations. You claim to be updating it in order to keep up with the gaming industry’s demands for performance. In actually you keep changing your mind on what color you want. On the other end there is a stack of players handbooks for various Role Playing Games

==== > Examine books

Your interest in role playing has been long lived. You and your friends initially came together on a play by post game on a forum and have remained together ever since. It was really quite fortunate. The party was small but together you had a blast. Your characters were usually the most well defined as you took great care in crafting their background and abilities. They were usually also the most effective as you had just a natural inclination towards crafting characters that were good at their jobs. There was also a small pile of character sheets stuck between a few of the books. You always had new ideas for characters to play so you had several ready to go in case your current one died. Granted that never happened so you had a huge backlog of heroic personalities to try. 

==== > Fiddle with components

You fiddle with the components that you have for a few minutes. Though nothing is coming to you. Or you’ve already done everything there is to do here. Your mind isn’t with you on some days. Not much can be done about that. Inspiration is a flighty broad, and she often skips town after getting burned. Each component and each wire have something in mind for what they want to be. You just have to be able to figure out what it is. You tire of this.

==== > Equip tiny robot to strife specibus

That is ridiculous, not to mention unnecessary. You already have a strife specibus. To prove a point to no one in the room you take out your spearkind specibus. It’s a replica of your favorite weapon from Swords and Glory your most recent lurid digital flame. You enjoyed it so much that you sent away for a replica of the weapon. It didn’t pierce things like a knife through butter since the tip wasn’t actually hard light, but it was neat. If you ever had to fight things it would serve you in the time being. Though that seemed incredibly unlikely. Oh ho ho is that wrong.

==== > Go play videogames

You make to go play videogames. Your console is ready from the last time you played which was a few hours ago. It is faintly warm from idling and approves of you with a soft blue light. It is time to waste another hour in Swords and Combat. Although you use a spear and no one actually uses a sword since everything is super advanced and probably runs on hard light or some other such bizarre tidbit that is Not Science. But you are willing to suspend your disbelief for a few hours. After all it’s not like there’s much to do. You can’t really go outside since it’s been raining since yesterday. Rain. Your age old enemy, bane of electronics and good hair. You have to wait to get into a game of Swords and Glory. You stand, and peer out your window.

==== >

Yep it sure is still raining out there. It will supposedly keep pouring for most of the week. Thankfully the levees were built to keep your neighborhood from flooding. Which would be bad. Obviously. You’ve lived here your whole life, it’s been nice but you can’t help but feel like you’re stuck. Just a part of a more grand design. Whatever that may be. You want to know what it is. There’s a ding. Right after you finish playing videogames that is.

==== >

You load into SaG quickly, you quickly equip all of the gear you need as well as your trusty spear. Which you’ve been using since you started playing the game. You can tell there’s something really off already. There’s a palpable server lag that usually isn’t there. You play through the game disposing of your enemies with extreme prejudice, only falling to slay an enemy who’d gotten close to you with a rapier. You blame the lag. You keep going for a while yet. Playing through several maps, until things get so terrible that you get disconnected from the server. Which doesn’t seem to be coming back up anytime soon. You feel like you’ve forgotten something. Like the stove being on. Oh. Today is the day. Dan’s Mom’s company had released sburb. You weren’t much for sandboxes but you always wanted to support Dan’s Mom. After all she also made Swords and Glory.

==== > Pester Dan

You move to pester Dan. Shooting off a “hey” to a monstrousSpectacle. Just as he was about to message you so it would seem. You are presented with a Pesterlog that you have already read. So that will just get skipped for the sake of time purposes. Moving on from that. It is now time for you to help your Dads move in groceries. This is most urgent.

==== > Do so

You move down through your house. Your parents have entered through the garage. They are carrying several bags of various foodstuffs. They greet you with a smile. Producing yet more bags, from their sylladexes. As it would be very silly for apparent to not have one. You are presented with four (4) bags of various goods. You open your Procedure Sylladex and put them in the correct order. Dairy should be cooled first as to prevent it from getting warm 1. Then fruit 2. Eggs will be third, you’d rather wait on there to be less commotion about as you place them into the fridge 3. Canned beans will be last. Your Dads have bought a lot this time. You just need to store them in the pantry 4.

==== > Cal: throw eggs at local ne’er-do-wells.

You can’t do that. Aside from that being very short sighted and mean. You literally cannot do that. You must remove the items from your sylladex in the order that they were assigned to. Learn the sylladex. Respect the sylladex. Love the sylladex.

==== > Fine. Continue with previous plan.  
You do so. Helping your parents with everything being put in the right place. First is the dairy (1), then the fruit in the crisper (2) eggs go in the secure compartment near the top of your fridge (3) and the beans are stowed away in the dark of the pantry (4) They are likely to remain there forever, you can’t stand beans. Your Dads go their separate ways. One to the basement for reasons he hasn’t shared and the other to his radio room. Why a modern family with internet needs a ham radio is beyond you but ah well. You are now once again left alone for a bit. You figure you may as well. Play sburb or figure out how it works.

==== > Get to playing sburb. This drags so.

\-----------------------

You go to play Sburb dealing with Dan as you two work through the intricacies of connectivity in a digital age. You install the server disc quickly. The rain has gotten heavier since. You hope your internet holds out long enough to get in a good session of this game. You are given an array of options and elect to place a Cruxtruder as that seems like the logical thing to do. You are interrupted by message on pesterchum.

==== >  
aeternalDiva has begun pestering mistyReagent at 1:40 PM

AD: Hello Cal!  
MR: hey  
MR: uh what’s up Ame  
AD: I was just wondering how the game was going. I’ll be free to play it shortly so I wanted an advance report as it were. Gotta make sure I make the best use of the evening.  
MR: well I can tell you one thing  
MR: this game is fucking weird  
MR: and not in the normal videogame way  
MR: I can see into Dans house  
AD: Spooky. Is it fun though?  
MR: thats what he said  
MR: to soon to say  
MR: I guess I would have to play more or get more people  
MR: would you like to play a game Ame  
AD: I want to but I can’t yet. I’ve got a lot going on today. I understood the reference though.  
MR: isn’t it dark where you live  
MR: the optimal time for game playing  
MR: glad you have seen a movie  
AD: The sun holds no power over my schedule only my sister and my numerous engagements that I promised to attend. I will be free soon enough worry not.  
AD: Nerd.  
MR: I am offended truly  
MR: that you would insinuate that I Calvin Strauss  
MR: am a nerd  
AD: You’re right. Sorry. Huge Nerd it is then. Have fun with your game then!  
aeternalDiva has ceased pestering mistyReagent at 1:46 PM

Play continues Dan prototypes his damn lizard. Things get harder as you keep lagging. You two manage to save his house from certain destruction under the mass of giant falling space rock. He’s taken to strange land that you don’t comprehend. You disconnect just before he gets into a big fight to save his Mom. Though you reconnect just in time for the aftermath. Dan says things are fine, but you can’t see where his Mom is anywhere.He has a habit of lying or covering the truth when he’s pressed. A trait that you will never quite understand. Then your internet cuts out for real this time. Like hard core. You have to fix this horrible issue before Dan needs your help again.

==== > Cal: Fix this

You venture out of your room. You can hear the rain pelting down onto the room of your house. The power is beginning to go onto the fritz. You can only imagine what it’s like for those closer to the coast. You head to your Dad’s radio room. The receiver is buzzing and chirping off the hook, but the room is empty save for you.Evacuations, flooding. Things might be getting bad. But you are fine here. Everything will sort itself out. After all your Dads could just get you to safety if things got really bad. They were the best when they were together. You go to reset the router. On second thought you might as well take it and put it in your room. You disconnect and take the wires (1) and then take the router (2). You scamper back off to your room. You set things up properly. Cycling the router twice for good measure.

==== > Check progress

It works! You have internet. For now. Dan is standing on his Alchemiter puzzling at something. You’d wondered how that thing worked. You message him feverishly but he’s not picking up. Another lizard imp is sneaking up on him. It takes him by surprise, only to be decimated by a swarm of electronics and lightbulbs…including his laptop. Which he uses to play the game. You finally hear back from him on his phone. Everything looks like it's going to be okay. But Dan’s luck is so horrible a tentacle comes and destroys the one room of his house that the two of you needed. Dan couldn’t help you now. And now you were certain that the rain wasn’t going to let up. The levee would break and then there would be a huge flood. You message Ame frantically.Well not frantically, you message her with something more reserved. Like concern. Yeah that would be the right word.

==== >  
mistyReagent has begun pestering aeternalDiva at 4:22 Pm  
MR: Ame  
MR: its bad  
MR: this game is dangerous  
MR: Dan is on an alien planet and has to fight weird imp things that look like Marv  
AD: What?  
MR: we were playing the game and then there was this huge meteor and Dan broke a mirror and his whole house got sucked into space  
MR: and theres these big ogre monsters that he has to fight  
AD: Again. What??  
MR: now theres this huge storm where I live and I think the world is ending and I need you to play this game with me or I’m going to get stuck on the roof of my house forever with my Dads  
AD: Cal. Calm. Down.  
MR: I AM CALM!  
MR: feelings are for the weak  
MR: fucking  
AD: So do I need the server or the client copy  
MR: server  
MR: well both probably  
MR: because my gut tells me that as soon as you launch this game bad stuff is going to happen  
MR: and Dan lost his server copy  
MR: so Gin will have to get you into the game  
AD: About that. There’s been...an issue.  
MR: jesus  
AD: I’ll resolve it posthaste. Hopefully  
MR: What’s the issue?  
AD: My sister has the game.  
MR: Oh no  
AD: What’s the timeframe here?  
AD: This may be a bit.  
MR: I have a few hours or so.  
MR:tops  
AD: Okay I will begin immediately then.

==== > Meanwhile


End file.
